I always have issues with caring too much for other people. No, it’s not about a random person I see on the street. It’s not about people that I see everyday on a daily basis. It’s about those who I value in my life. Those who help me grow to become the person I am today.
The unhealthy thing is, at times their problems become my problems too. As a result, my already-jumbled-thoughts become more complicated by the presence of an issue I probably can never solved. Because sometimes, you don’t need to be ‘the superhero’ or ‘the fixer’ for someone. You just need to be there and listen.
Without realizing I constantly blame myself for doing nothing to help them. I constantly overthink what can I do to make it better and always find a dead end. Because it’s simply none of your business and they can figure their shit out alone.
In some cases, the truth hurts when you already gave a hundred percent for them, but received none. Other cases, I clearly didn’t get hurt by receiving nothing in return, but still care for them so much it ended up hurting me physically.
I’m learning to care less. It might seem easy to hear, I mean what’s the hard part in caring less? It’s hard for me because I want them all to be happy and healthy, whether it’s physically, mentally and emotionally. If you read that as a selfless act, it’s actually so selfish. In what world everything becomes so perfect? This is not a goddamn fairytale.
